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"What has allowed so many Psychopathic Personalities to rise so high in corporations and government, is that they are so decisive. Unlike normal people, they are never filled with doubts, for the simple reason that they cannot care what happens next."
- Kurt Vonnegut
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Quadraturin |
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Substance that creates more space when applied to walls, floors and ceilings. |
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In his fanciful story, Krzhizhanowsky provides a fanciful answer to the problem faced by Soviet citizens like Sutulin, who have been assigned strict housing limits: eighty-six square feet per apartment.
| So then: we have discovered - this is a secret now - an agent for biggerizing rooms. Well, won't you try it?"
The stranger's hand popped out of the briefcase and proffered Sutulin a narrow dark tube, not unlike a tube of paint, with a tightly screwed cap and a leaden seal. Sutulin fidgeted bewilderedly with the slippery tube and, though it was nearly dark in the room, made out on the label the clearly printed word: Quadraturin...
On closer inspection it turned out that this zinc packet was tightly fitted - as is often done by the makers of patented agents - with a thin transparent paper whose ends were expertly glued together. Sutulin removed the paper sheath from the Quadraturin, unfurled the rolled-up text, which showed through the paper's transparent gloss, and read:
DIRECTIONS
Dissolve 1 teaspoon of the Quadraturin essence in 1 cup of water. Wet a piece of cotton wool or simply a clean rag with the solution; apply this to those of the room's internal walls designated for proliferspansion. This mixture leaves no stains, will not damage wallpaper, and even contributes - incidentally - to the extermination of bedbugs. |
From Quadraturin,
by Sigizmund Krzhizhanowsky.
Published by Not Known in 1925
Additional resources -
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Sutilin carelessly spills the concentrated Quadraturin onto the floor of his room, which grows larger and larger.
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