The Help Vending Machine video shown below details a vending machine that you just don't mess with. Refreshing beverages? Oh, yes. And a siren. And a video camera. And a built-in emergency phone with a direct line to the police.
The security camera is watching you even if you just walk by; is it trying to protect customers or is it trying to pick some kind of an Orwellian fight?
I think that if you want a vending machine with attitude, you should model it on the Lucky Dragon ATM from William Gibson's 1999 novel All Tomorrow's Parties.
"Identify yourself, please." Lucky Dragon ATMs all had this same voice, a weird, uptight, strangled little castrato voice … probably kept people from standing around, [talking] with it… If you seriously tried to dick with one, drive a crowbar into the money slot, say, the thing would mist you and itself down with water and then electrify itself.
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