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"This category [science fiction] excludes rocket ships that make U-turns, serpent men of Neptune that lust after human maidens, and stories by authors who flunked their Boy Scout merit badge tests in descriptive astronomy."
- Robert Heinlein

Coin-Op Clockwork Friend  
  A robot for hire, for companionship and help.  

He isn’t a kid at all. He’s a Clockwork, an old one, with a smiling, moonlike face of crackled ceramic. His chest is a scratched case of plasteel. Within is a coil of cloudy vinyl tubing where intestines belong, brass pipettes for bones, a basket of gold wires filled almost to the top with silver tokens instead of a stomach. His heart is a matte black vapor-drive.

A steel plate mounted to one side of his heart says COIN-OP FRIEND! LOYAL FAITHFUL COMPANION AND CONFIDANT. NEED HELP WITH GROCERIES? CAN LIFT UP TO ONE TON. KNOWS 30 CARD GAMES, SPEAKS ALL LANGUAGES, KEEPS SECRETS. A TOKEN FOR 30 MINUTES OF ABSOLUTE DEVOTION. GIRLS: LEARN HOW TO KISS FROM A PERFECT GENTLEMAN WHO WILL TELL NO TALES. BOYS: PRACTICE THE ANCIENT ART OF PUGILISM ON HIS ALMOST INDESTRUCTIBLE SHELL! THIS CLOCKWORK NOT RATED FOR ADULT/MATURE USE. Someone has scratched a cartoon penis below this last sentence.

Iris has not played with a Clockwork since she was small, not since Talk-to-Me-Tabitha, her childhood beloved, and Tabitha was perhaps a century more advanced. This thing is an antique, one of the novelties from the shuttered store directly behind him, likely planted on the street as an advertisement. A moldie-oldie from the days of Google and chunky VR headsets and Florida.

No one could steal him. His back is pressed to a magnetic charge plate installed in the brick wall...

...She swivels back, digs out her tokens — she has exactly two — and pushes first one, then the other into the slot on the Clockwork’s chest. Silver credits clatter into the enormous pile of tokens in his stomach.

The vaporware heart in his chest expands and contracts with an audible thud. The numbers above the chrome plate on his chest make a ratcheting noise and roll over with a series of rapid clicks, to read 00:59:59.

And the seconds begin to tick down.

You got three questions,” he says, selecting for random grammatical errors. Informal speech always plays well with the young. “Let me answer them in order. First: What’s my name? Chip. It’s a joke. But it’s also really my name.”

The girl says, “What do you mean it’s a—”

He taps one finger to his temple, indicating the logic boards hidden behind his ceramic face, and she smiles.

“Chip. Glad to meet you. What are my other two questions?”

“If you have to pay me, how can I really be your friend? The company that built me programmed me with one directive: For the next fifty-nine minutes, all I care about is you. I won’t judge you and I won’t lie to you. You are Aladdin and I am the genie. I’ll execute any wish that’s within my powers and isn’t strictly forbidden by custom or law. I can’t steal. I can’t beat anyone up. There are certain adult functions I cannot perform owing to the 2072 Human-Clockwork Obscenity Laws—laws that have actually been repealed but remain a part of my OS.”

Technovelgy from All I Care About Is You, by Joe Hill.
Published by Subterranean Press in 2017
Additional resources -

Don't miss the androide from Cyclopaedia (1727) by Ephraim Chambers.

Compare to the robot baby from Life Everlasting (1934) by David H. Keller, the robotic infiltrator from Second Variety (1953) by Philip K. Dick, the robot brother from Brother Robot (1958) by Henry Slesar, the android son from Super-Toys Last All Summer Long (1969) by Brian Aldiss, the Purza the Pukha from The Rowan (1990) by Anne McCaffrey and the artificial friend from Klara and the Sun (2021) by Kazuo Ishiguro.

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Additional resources:
  More Ideas and Technology from All I Care About Is You
  More Ideas and Technology by Joe Hill
  Tech news articles related to All I Care About Is You
  Tech news articles related to works by Joe Hill

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